I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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