I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
