found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize