so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize