thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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