didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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