We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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