Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
