you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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