The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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