I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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