I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
