A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
