You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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