So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
