Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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