No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
