I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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