Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize