she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize