Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
