There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize