I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
