If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize