You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
