help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
handjob tips. give me some.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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