so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize