It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
