he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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