I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she smelled like a LAN party
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
