I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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