She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
