there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have feelings that need drinking.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
