Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
be right there i have to get my cape
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
