is your mom at the bar?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
