yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
so much tequila, so little girl.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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