Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize