careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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