Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
