oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
