She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
