so let's talk penis.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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