i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
