East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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