After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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