he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
