How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
