He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
