Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
