Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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