I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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