you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
