It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
