I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
