Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
