Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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