she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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