Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
