You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
