she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
