So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Randomize
