Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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