Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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