That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize